I have only been married for a couple of years but I have lived with my wife for a while. Under that time, I have learnt some tricks and tips that I would like to share.
1. The distance between you and your spouse from each other’s in-laws is directly proportional to your household’s happiness. Those who have in-laws living nearby will understand, but if you do not, watch an episode of Everybody loves Raymond and you will know exactly what I mean.
2. Twice and three times a week are the recommended doses. You know what I am talking about. Be demure once in a while. Try to keep things new and fresh. Always remember, some is better than none, but more is better than some.
3. Keep your bank accounts separate. Keep a joint checking account to deposit for bills. Each spouse contributes a percentage of their corresponding household income to pay bills. If one spouse makes 60k and the other 40k. One spouse should pay 40% of the bills and the other 60%. I know it is difficult to talk with your partner about money as this might offend him or her, but communication is key in a healthy relationship.
4. Set expectations really low. Do not be fooled, your spouse will try to change you and to mold you into the perfect partner and it will happen to some degree. Not in a volatile manner but over time. The secret is to change slightly and slowly raise the bar. Do not start cleaning out the whole house the first day, clean the dishes every once in a while and go from there. Do not buy her a car in your first anniversary, buy chocolate and roses instead. Next year, you might get her a nice love book. You get the idea. That way there will be a surprise factor and you will make your partner happy.
5. Marriage is about compromise. Especially if you want to stay close and do things together. This week she might want to watch Eat Pray Love, then next week you all can watch The Expendables.
I would to love to hear your tips.
Copyright 2010 Christian Rios
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