Mass Effect 3 Chat Review

Christian Rios 11:09 am
anybody tried out mass effect 3 yet?

Taylor Wicksell 11:09 am

Christian Rios 11:09 am
since it is not on Steam I had forgotten it existed

Taylor Wicksell 11:09 am
did you play the first two?

Christian Rios 11:09 am

Taylor Wicksell 11:10 am
you know how the first one was like a decent RPG, lots of stuff to do, side quests, etc.

Christian Rios 11:10 am
I usually wait till it is 9.99 to buy them though

Taylor Wicksell 11:10 am
and then the second one got really REALLY dumbed down for consoles and the like

Christian Rios 11:10 am
right… mini games in the second one were lame

Taylor Wicksell 11:10 am
fewer quests, less content, missions were little linear things that take about 5 minutes and have a “You Win” screen at the end with your rating and all

Taylor Wicksell 11:11 am
take the difference between mass effect 1 and 2, and then triple it, and that gets you mass effect 3
there are like 15 systems now, you don’t even land on the planets you just scan them but now enemy ships come and chase you around if you scan too long

Christian Rios 11:12 am
there are space fights?

Taylor Wicksell 11:12 am
if they touch you, you die
that’s all

Christian Rios 11:12 am
wait what?

Taylor Wicksell 11:12 am
I’m not shitting you
the same flight interface from ME2
you get into the system, and right click to scan in a circle around you
and sometimes you’ll find shit
every time you scan though, it calls enemies

Taylor Wicksell 11:13 am
when they get there, they chase you in circles (pitifully I might add) until you leave
if they catch you, you get a game over
your character if you imported from ME1 to ME2, can’t be imported from ME2 to ME3
they somehow lost all of the details on how he looks, the decisions come through but you totally lose his appearance
the animations are friggin terrible
every character is basically two sticks, one running from his feet up into his ass, and another from his ass pointing forward at a 45 degree angle
the always maintain this posture at all times during battle, running or not

Taylor Wicksell 11:15 am
it uses the Dead Space/ Resident Evil 4 camera, which is slightly different from ME1 and ME2
it’s just in a fixed position so your guy takes up 1/3rd of the screen

Christian Rios 11:15 am
isn’t it always been that way?

Taylor Wicksell 11:15 am
and your crosshairs are off center of the screen by just a little bit to mess you up
yeah, but somehow its just worse this time, i dunno how to explain. Before the camera had a little movement to it I think now its like just a third stick coming out of his ass with a camera taped to the end
the UI doesn’t scale with the resolution

Christian Rios 11:16 am
the camera worked for me in dead space

Taylor Wicksell 11:16 am
so if you’re awesome like me with a 2560×1600 res monitor, you end up with health bars about 2cm wide

Christian Rios 11:17 am

Taylor Wicksell 11:17 am
it worked in dead space because you’re always fighting in corridors and shit, and there isn’t much to look at

Taylor Wicksell 11:17 am
in this game, there is open space and gorgeous scenery that you can’t appreciate because the camera is locked at a spot 2 yards in front of your feet
it’s just really uncomfortable to pan around and look at stuff
combat seems to be a lot better and more fun this time around, it’s faster and feels more like a shooter and harder, which means you need to use your team more
unless your on a high res monitor in which case you can barely even SEE the team menu, let alone use it to pick skills
they completely changed several of the companions from previous games

Taylor Wicksell 11:20 am
Ashely Williams used to be a tough, stoic army officer. Now she got a boob job and brain-ectomy, and longer hair
totally different personality of not just the companions, but your own character. Where you used to get a lot of choices, now its all just a story on rails
the dialogue wheel may as well not exist because you always have two responses, naughty or nice, but both of them ALWAYS have the same outcome
its just what tone you use to say what you were gonna say anyway
hardly any opportunities to use Paragon on renegade quick time events, and apparently it NEVER shows up in dialogue anymore
they added an upgrade system for your guns, which really means your guns suck until you get all the upgrades

Christian Rios 11:22 am

Taylor Wicksell 11:22 am
and five minutes into the game the Earth is under attack
so the rest of the game is you running around the galaxy for like an eternity to build and army to stop it
but it goes so friggin slow that you know the whole planet is gonna be glass before you can do shit about it

Christian Rios 11:23 am
isn’t the same way as two that you are just grinding to power through the last mission

Taylor Wicksell 11:23 am
yeah, but in two it wasn’t like there was any immediate threat
it was all “bad guys are coming…eventually”
now its like “bad guys are here, and every minute you spend dicking around with fetch quests another 10 million people die”
and yet I’m still doing quests like buying a guy a pet fish

Taylor Wicksell 11:24 am
oh, and all the cool choices from before, like whether or not you save the Geth and the Rachni
yeah that shit doesn’t matter really
I was expecting a big cool story arc from it, but all you get is a tiny little side mission that lasts about 10 minutes, and your army count goes up by a meaningless number

Christian Rios 11:25 am
oh.. so you are literally building an army?

Taylor Wicksell 11:25 am
pretty much
there is a cool little war room on the ship now where you can see who you have
like the story could be really nice, it sounds like it should be awesome
but it just feels flat and boring

Taylor Wicksell 11:26 am
and it becomes an infinite quest chain of stupid
the turians won’t help you without the krogans, they won’t help without a cure from the salarians, they’re just dicks and won’t help at all….
OH! And like every 30 minutes, the game designers decide to shine a spotlight on some kind of liberal agenda

Christian Rios 11:27 am
like what?

Taylor Wicksell 11:28 am
just in ways that make no sense or have no place in the game

Taylor Wicksell 11:28 am
like the second space marine you meet who is all tough and steroided out is just cruising about the cargo hold
and fitting in perfectly with the surrounding jarhead caricatures, and then you hit a dialogue option and he tells you about his husband and starts crying like a little girl
but it comes out of nowhere, and it goes nowhere, they just leave it at that
just to be all like “Hey guys…we put gay people in games…we’re edgy and cool cause no one else does that”
and then the next option puts him right back to normal doing arm wrestling and crap

Christian Rios 11:30 am

Taylor Wicksell 11:31 am
its just like…such a bad game, and I really wanted more Mass Effect cause the first one was a lot of fun
there is multiplayer, that’s pretty cool, I enjoyed that
but only like 10 maps so it got old quick
you spawn on a map, enemies come in waves, on the 10th wave you get a boss
rinse and repeat

Christian Rios 11:32 am
kinda like zombies

Taylor Wicksell 11:33 am
left 4 dead was better

Taylor Wicksell 11:33 am
but that’s about what it feels like
they walk in straight lines, have one kind of attack, and a group of snipers pick them apart like its nothing
but if you wanna get good equipment in that mode you have to buy equipment packs
which are like those old school card games, you get 4 random items, one of them MIGHT be relatively useful
you get money by either grinding in multiplayer or trading real cash for Origin points

Michelle Losilla Rios 1:11 pm
so Taylor, what did you really think about ME3?

Christian Rios 1:14 pm
I think I should copy all that into a blog

Taylor Wicksell 1:59 pm
I’d be ok with that
damn piece of crap game
so tired of them dumbing everything down for the masses. They’re dumb enough already, try raising the bar a bit

Christian Rios 2:01 pm
maybe that’s what the mass effect is all about!

Taylor Wicksell 2:05 pm
no….dont encourage the stupids, they have too much self-esteem as it is damn 99 percenters…

Christian Rios 2:23 pm
99 percenters? you mean all those Ron Paul supporters?

Taylor Wicksell 2:26 pm
i wish

Christian Rios 4:09 pm
we get to vote for Ron Paul Tuesday 😛

Taylor Wicksell 4:22 pm